Trapped by Your Manager's Request for Feedback?

Here's how to do it safely.

One night, a friend called me in panic. His VP manager had requested "constructive feedback" from the team, and he was terrified. "What can I say that won’t risk my job?" he asked. 

I helped him craft a response, carefully balanced with honesty and tact. The outcome? His boss received it very well 🎇 , and he felt relieved.

But we all know - giving feedback to our manager can feel like walking a tightrope. It is risky, even when they ask for it.

Why?

1️⃣ Power dynamics: Managers hold authority, and their reaction to feedback is hard to predict.

2️⃣ Defensiveness: Even the most well-meaning managers can take it personally.

3️⃣ Career risks: Feedback, even when requested, can strain the relationship and impact your future (I have such examples).

4️⃣ Professional boundaries: While they may genuinely want feedback, giving it can overstep professional limits.

So, what should you do when they ask, "How am I doing?"

💡 Here’s a safer approach:

✅ Highlight what is working before suggesting areas for improvement (=positive feedback).

✅ Focus on teamwork, processes, or project outcomes instead of personal traits.

✅ Frame it as a suggestion. Ask, "Would it be possible to try X?" or say, "I’ve seen Y work well elsewhere. Maybe we could explore that?"

✅ If you are unsure, ask to revisit the topic during your next 1:1 meeting. 

Feedback, if handled correctly, can strengthen your relationship and foster growth for both of you. 

🔔 If you find this post useful, share it with your network. Your support could help someone navigate a tricky workplace situation.

If you need guidance on your current workplace situation, I am here to help! 

📅 Schedule a call with me by visiting the "Work With Me" page.

✍ DM me if you have any questions!